It is my intent to here lay out plainly the events that came about from my attempted initiation into the Sphere of Netzach. It is only now - EXACTLY 6 months to the day that I have garnered the strength of mind and will to do so.
The temple room was set up thusly for the working:
I had two talismans to consecrate during this - a Venus talisman and a Procyon talisman (the latter now lost). I was not taking things very seriously. Note my circle is incomplete, and I was not wearing the lamen.
Here is the astrological weather for July 15, the night of my working:
I go to bed that night and have the following experience:
I was outside the old 221 house. My family, including my dead uncle Boyd was there. He had a long misshapen beard that someone said covered a large tumor. On the street I saw an animal - a small black goat. This creature greatly disturbed me. I followed it in the street for a bit and I came to notice it was not a goat, but now a black poodle with a tiny pet hood on - as in a pet's Halloween costume. The next thing to happen was the appearance of lights in the sky, high above the church next door. This was terrifying. It was a perfect circle of lights. The circle rotated. I felt panic - we hurried in the house.
The next scene I am in my bed. I hear a noise outside. I peek out the window and see my mom - someone is with her. It's my aunt Janie. She's wearing a black wig with shoulder length straight hair. She walks into my mother's bedroom without saying a word or making eye contact. I see her pull off the wig - she is bald. There is something grotesque about her right eye. She makes me feel uneasy. She comes into my bedroom and lays behind me. Her voice changes into that of my aunt Hava. She's sick and going to be staying with us for a while. She's taking my bedroom. She doesn't want me watching TV. My emotional state is that of feeling very oppressed. She then tells me my mom is going to marry her dead cousin's husband. I am extremely upset. I begin to call for my mom.
The scene changes to an outside place. I can feel something invisible following me. I stop, turn and listen. I have chills. I walk across a driveway. In the back of it a Latina is in a bikini, bent over, spreading her ass cheeks. Another girl is there and two black guys are taking pictures. I keep walking, my mood even more disturbed.
I come to a house. I walk up to it. The door opens and my mother is standing in the doorway. She had a giant black Victorian dress on - very frilly, Gothic. She had a very grim look on her face. Somehow I knew that dementia was the cause for the personality change in her. I began to try to talk to her and she began to say horrible things. She pulled out a weapon that resembled nunchucks. They transformed into spinning blades. She was trying to kill me. The spinning blades began to increase in speed and cut my hands. I woke up panicked. I called to my mom - I wanted to tell her how much I loved and appreciated her. She was diagnosed with dementia a while back. At this point, I believe that I am fully awake. I turned into the kitchen and I see her standing at the sink. She slowly turned. I am absolutely horrified. My black cat Ina was at her side. My mom's head is the head of a large black goat, with tremendous horns. It/she steps towards me. It reaches up and pulls it's face of like a mask. I know that there is only blackness - I can't look at it - I follow its hand back down that holds the mask. It spoke to me. "They are all liars". I force myself to wake up. I do. I am panicked. I had thought I had been awake. I open the door to my room and my mom was coming down the hall from the kitchen. She looked very worried - she was kind of against the wall with her head looking down. She didn't acknowledge me. I spoke to her and she neither looked at me nor spoke. I called to her again and she finally spoke, but very distantly.
I began to tell her about the dream and the phone rang - it was my aunt Janie - her and my Uncle Harold were coming into town that night. After that call, as I was writing this in my journal, my aunt Hava called. After that call my mom comes and tells me what a good dog my aunt Virginia's black poodle is. Each one of these triggered an unreal panic in me.
So, that night a picture came off the wall. A few days later a picture of Jesus (the one where it's just his head and sometimes his eyes look open, sometimes closed) I had up fell off the wall and broke my money altar and the spirit's cup there. You can see finger streaks on the glass down the front of Jesus' face. One night I walked outside and saw a huge green orb just over the trees - it was falling down to the earth. It lit up a great portion of the sky and looked to be only a couple of houses down. That too caused panic, but now I believe I saw a green meteor - burning green because of the copper content. Then, just a few days ago, while I was at work, my mom said like 30 flies came in and were at the kitchen window. She said it was creepy - they just came out of nowhere. When I got home I killed the remaining ones - they had green shiny bodies.
That's it for Part 1 of this guys. Next time I will tell you how I've interpreted this, and how it has changed my life.