Why Risk It?

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Warren Buffet said risk is not knowing what you are doing.

Here is the truth that few will admit: Nobody knows what they are doing. 

Here's what the entheogenic, the paranormal, the magical, the mystical, the spiritual experience is about:

Waking up to find not only the world is not as it seems but you are not at all who you thought you were.

Whoever you think you are is why you refuse risks. Risk taking is self-destructive behavior, but also the only way of self-construction. This is another of the wonderful paradoxes which is unreasonable to the reasonable, who do not throw dice, who lead nice quiet normative and uneventful lives; or perhaps the word owing too much, existences rather.

You cannot become, as you are.  New levels of consciousness, of ways of perceiving - the old man must pass away before the new man is born. And this is the danger in that:

This process of awakening dissolves the framework you currently perceive yourself and the world from. Where does that leave you? I will be brutally honest.

This will be the most terrifying thing you ever experience. To leave tradition. To leave belief. To leave identity.

Why are there those among us that have always been driven to risk taking? 

For myself I suppose it came first of boredom. Of utter apathy towards the world. Colin Wilson writes of the Outsider seeing too much, thinking too deeply. Having no purpose, no goal, no direction. The world is bland, without flavor, color, life. What is it to live? Surely it is not this.

So I dropped acid at 16 years old or so. I physically danced with an alien presence only present in my head. I saw strange heiroglyphs upon the walls. I had such intensity of thought bearing down on my head I thought I could bear it no further. This was the first true jump into the darkness.

At 32 years old I was so utterly alone I thought getting married was a good idea.

At 36 years old, 3 years divorced, I was so desolate I believed conjuring daimons was a good idea. I bit off entirely more than I could chew in an eternity. 

Also at 36 I started Charm the Water. Here's a deep dark secret. I have no idea what I'm doing. But it's OK because those among us who think they know what they are doing even know less what they are doing than I.

I do know this though. Taking risks is the only way to get out of what you are stuck in. Some of us are happy with imprisonment, and call it security, comfort, stability. My dad led a safe life. He was not satisfied with life and I know, as did he, his potential had been much greater. Perhaps being in his shadow is what drives me from risk to risk. I, like he was, am tremendously unsatisfied.

No longer bored, I now grow fearful and desperate, approaching middle age. It no longer takes tremendous jumps into the darkness, but rather grave determination. There must be more than this. How do I achieve it?

Here are the risks that must be made at this late hour.

• Quieten the voice of the mind

• Listen to the quiet

• Trust the quiet

• Dream dreams

• Listen to the dreams

• Trust the dreams

• Have faith that the Universe is friendly

• Pay attention to synchronicities, let them guide you

• Fear no man nor spirit, human or inhuman. They have place and purpose

• Find your purpose, the True Will

• Put everything at risk to accomplish this

One last word, which the spirits of Mars are insistent upon. These things will require incredible discipline. 

To whom much is given, much will be required. -Luke 12:48