The shadow person puppet from my initiation into Yesod has proven most perplexing to me. And yet, it seems it should be most obvious to me as to her meaning. However, these things can never be expressly "packaged" for conceptual understanding. I mentioned in the previous post that I had done an I-Ching reading to garner insight into the shadow person puppet.
I do not pretend to be an expert on the I-Ching. Utility brings understanding. Hexagram 38 blew my mind. I asked for the I-Ching to reveal who the shadow puppet was. I have my answer, in part. Kelly and I both have been astounded by the accuracy of the I-Ching in 2017. It warned her of bad health before her heart attack.
This image is by Anne Wipf over at deviantart.
Compare with the doll I made:
It's astounding actually, the similarities. I shopped for around 2 hours the day of the dream looking for clothes that matched what I saw in my dream. The artist had very specific reasons for choosing a cart with oxen at a lake and such - all having to do with the interpretation of the lines of Hexagram 38. The cart is filled with demons, or ghosts, and is indicative of certain star mansions, that not understanding Eastern astrology or astronomy, currently escape me.
Some key words for this hexagram are opposition, disharmony, diverging. It is Fire luminous above Lake joyous. Fire ascends, Water descends. They are in mutual opposition. Separation is expressed. Remember back to my dream. The Daughter of the Moon, a devotee of Hekate, brought me into a back bedroom, where the dark puppet sat in a rocking chair. I sat before it, and it came alive, and I saw in its black face the vision of a skull, and beneath the skull a young woman, with pale skin. I looked into her eye, which was wide and staring into my own.
Fire in the top trigram of the hexagram represents "Middle Daughter". The lower trigram represents Youngest Daughter. Although they live together, they do not cooperate. Given the context of my dream, this is most astounding a divinatory revelation to myself. The aggression from the shadow figure in our house has been towards Kelly. In Hexagram 38, Female aggression is portrayed. The 2nd and 4th lines of this hexagram are yang lines in yin positions, and the 3rd and 5th lines of the hexagram are yin lines in yang positions. Remember too, that the very day of the shadow puppet's REAL APPEARANCE to Kelly was followed that day by me finding a series of unmarked graves on our property, just above our house.
And suddenly I KNOW what my Yesodic Initiation is about. I know what Yesod is about.
Yesod particularly associates with the astral realm. I'm going to explain this from a number of different perspectives, the first being Qabalistic. Hod-Mercury, is called Splendour and Netzach-Venus, is called Victory. Think of Hod as being Form, and Netzach as Force. Hod contains concrete images, and Netzach contains vital energy. In between and below these two Spheres, creating the lower triad of the Tree of Life is Yesod, Foundation. The base of the Middle Pillar. Yesod is the Astral Light. That's a term of Levi's. Think of it as a conscious field which lay in the background of all that is, informing it, holding all that is together. It is the occult Yod force of Atu IX, The Hermit. It is also the four Nines of the tarot. It is the place of hidden desires, especially sexual.
In the Vajrayana tantra systems of Tibet the corresponding chakra is called the "Secret Place". In Hindu Tantrism it is called the sacral chakra or Svadhishthana. One could also think of Yesod as the Akashic Record, where the record of all that is Us is retained. It is the place of the personal subconscious and the collective subconscious. It is the place of the Ethereal Body and the less dense portions of that body called the Astral Body. It is the Sub-Lunar realm, filled with demons, delusions, phantasms, ghosts, all manner of insane imagery. It too is the place of thought forms, illusions, glamour, transformation, shape-shifting. It is the closest Sphere of Manifestation to our own - the physical world, Malkuth.
Demon Lands. Ghost Lands. Wilderness. Shadow Lands. These are all excellent descriptors for Yesod. It so happens these are descriptors for Hexagram 38, Opposition. Diverging. Here's where things get really interesting.
Kui - Hexagram 38. All of the lines of this hexagram pertain to the words “see” (jian) and “meet”, (yu) while the figure of the entire Hexagram pertains to gui, “ghost.” If you aren't as floored as I am at having gotten this through an I-Ching divination in which I ask what the shadow figure is haunting Kelly and I after my Yesodic initiation, you aren't paying attention closely enough!
The Lines of figure 38 are Guide-ways (jing) or “real directions” to follow through a series of encounters in the Ghost Lands - in the Sub-Lunar world. In the Astral. If one thinks of how Hermeticism describes Yesod - a hidden interface, the internal wiring of the Universe - this is entry into it. Into the Dark Wilderness - the place of The Mothers, who are vengeful, and those they oversee - hungry ghosts made furies - instruments of their vengefulness. I'm sure its not that simple. Karmic this and that, whatever... Kelly and I have already dealt with a young woman who appeared as triplets holding hands with each other - connected to each other - this could have only been Hekate, Triple Moon Goddess - the One who has power over the restless dead. She came to collect Maria, a somewhat problematic ghost from our house we encountered abruptly and rather in a startling fashion when we first moved to our farm house. Long story, in the backlogs.
Now I am faced with another ghost, who is also hateful, at least towards Kelly, having bit her, which is how Hexagram 38 describes these ghosts - you can't make the mistake of thinking that you are their savior, or their caretaker. Referencing my dream, the Daughter of the Moon put the shadow puppet and I together. My job is to grow from the opposition, to grow from the encounter. Creative expression out of the tension of Opposition.
The passions of these ghosts, their hate, their pain, are why they remain here, haunting the dwelling (Hexagram 37 - Dwelling). The nature of "opposites" is portrayed in even how I saw the ghost firstly - a shadow puppet, then skull, and behind the skull a young woman's eye. It's inverted from what it should be, which is flesh, bone, and astral body. What she is is stuck in astral form - which most commonly appears to us a blackness. Kelly has seen my own form in the astral as a black blobbish figure. Behind Goat's face, were the depths of Darkness. Baphomet is said to be a chimera representing the astral force. It's also called the Black Flame. I digress..
Trying to place the look I saw in the spirit woman's eye, it was of intense focus. As serious and intense of look as one could be given by a woman. And I note, each time Kelly has seen the shadow - both in a hypnagogic and fully waking state, it has made eye contact with her - only there are no eyes - only a black face, as with my puppet representing her. I should mention that the last time Kelly saw the shadow figure was in the basement, while Kelly's daughter was staying with us. Kelly felt it was in the basement because her daughter was here - and it didn't like the intrusion. Kelly believes the shadow woman is jealous of herself, and any woman. That very night Kelly's daughter later revealed that every time she attempted to sleep, just as sleep came, something woke her that sounded like a finger tapping the wall beside her head. This persisted for 2 nights. If we look at the paired Hexagrams 37 and 38 we are looking at the dwelling place and the wilderness of night. That's the opposition described in Hexagram 38. A ghost in the dwelling. Why is it haunting here? Also tied with Hexagram 38 is the notion of a man in his 30s, seeking to establish himself, his house. The I-Ching is quite incredibly specific about some things..
Now after this came to be known, I decided that the shadow woman was definitely something that I was to confront - in my dream I was made to sit down in front of her and pay attention to her - and at that point the vision unfolded. I decided that night I would put the puppet in the basement and sit with it in the dark and do a ghost box session, asking some questions. I wanted to find out why it was here. Well, I didn't have to. As this thought prevailed in my head all day, I got a message at work from Kelly. Kelly had taken a nap and had a dream. The dream I believe, was the answer to my question.
Kelly dreamt that her and I were on the interstate driving, approaching the exit to our house. We were in the right lane. In our left lane - our passing lane - we came to a stopped car facing the wrong direction. Kelly said the car rested at a slight angle. She saw that it was a white car, with a blue stripe and "Police" written on the side of the car in sparkly light blue paint. She said the head lights were on, as if it had spun out and hit the guardrail. A hotel was up on the left off of the highway - this is there in real life. As we got closer she saw the driver's side door was open and a woman with blonde hair was slumped over the seat. The interior lights were on. It was dark outside - Kelly said she felt as if it were 7 or 8 in the evening. The blond woman was slumped over the BACK of the driver's seat where Kelly could not see her face, only blonde hair. Her lower body was obfuscated by the driver's side door. Now, this is where things get interesting. She says an officer with light brown pants (the color of the puppet's clothes acutally), his back turned to us, slowly walked towards the woman in the front seat. At the same time, 3 shadow figures approached the girl from the front and side of the car. She says she knew that nobody else could see the shadow figures. All four figures, the 3 shadow figures and the Officer were completely focused on the woman and nothing else. There was no sound in the dream. She woke up.
Now, if you take that as an actual event, there are some disturbing things about it. A hotel in the background. A woman unconscious, slumped backwards in a police car facing the wrong way on an interstate. An approaching officer, joined by 3 shadow figures. Kelly thinks it was an older police cruiser, perhaps an Impala. I think of the face I saw behind the skull in my dream, behind the shadow. Somehow I know it has blond hair, although I can't consciously remember seeing it.
In this time of Yesodic initiation I experienced a vision of Kali while doing pranayama. A vengeful mother by definition. Also Kali corresponds to Kundalini energy. Also to do with Yesod. Originating from the Muladhara chakra - the root chakra - foundation. Kelly only last night in the practice of Yoga nidra had a vision of a ghost man who approached her, tapping her on the leg repeatedly, telling her he was dead. Far from being disturbed, she found it a most amazing experience. She had no sensation of her own physical body sitting up on the couch while this transpired. The dead man didn't seem disturbed either. Apparently he found it quite novel that he was dead.
What's being revealed through this initiation are the Mothers - goddesses associated with the Moon and the Underworld - and the Dead. I'm getting some idea of the world that real spiritual workers, real shamans, work within. It's a dark wilderness, outside the dwelling, filled with all manner of beings, most of whom are absolutely not nice, but held here by hate, pain, suffering. And in glimpsing this world, you can see emerging a picture of the true nature and calling of the Initiate. The magician. The witch. The shaman. The spirits teach us so that we may grow now, while alive. And so, initiation is death. And rebirth. And we may heal, or hurt. We become active participants in Reality, which is of the ancestors and of the spirits. That's why the Mothers are vengeful. Look at this place. The Kali Yuga is definitely a good description of our era. Civilization is not only creating havoc here in the physical world, but also in the worlds hereafter (or for those with eyes and ears, just the worlds here with this world too).
The star mansion called Ghost Cart (Yugui) - tied to Hexagram 38 - presides over punishments, executions and dire fates, the Heavenly Horse and the Heavenly Swine, the Man leading the Ox, the Bow and Arrow, the Orphan or Fox. These are all important myths tied to the lines of Hexagram 38. The season is Autumn (my Yesodic initiation was September, 2017), rains come and winter is close. Kelly felt the dream of the girl in the police car could have been around Fall / Winter. I don't know a lot about this, but am researching more. My knowledge of things Eastern is very limited. I do know that when Kelly and I follow these crooked paths we experience amazing things. All have been positive, though at times absolutely terrifying.
To get a greater understanding of Hexagram 38 and wtf I'm talking about, please read this from Stephen Karcher Ph.D., entitled The Shaman of the Shadows.