I initiated into Yesod back in September with a group of people in different parts of the world. It was the closest Monday to the Virgo aligning with Revelation 12 thing that hit the news. The Moon was at 33.3%. It was not in a favorable position - which didn’t stop me. Ordeals aren’t favorable are they - at least not for most people.
I used the dried leaves of Datura as the base for my Lunar incense - I had stumbled across the plant growing at my workplace of all places. I walked up into the wilderness out back of our farmhouse with my Trithemian gear - quartz sphere, table of practice, magic circle, a cup filled with rain water, and of course my wand and crow-winged hat. I took off for a particular tree up the mountain.
Near the end of the conjuration I began to feel very warm, relaxed, euphoric. I had been careful to stand down wind of the incense, having a healthy respect for Datura. I didn’t quite know how to explain why I was feeling so very nice. I finished up and started back home. I continued to feel euphoric. I went to bed. I woke up later in somewhat of a panic. Everything felt heavy, intense. I became convinced I had somehow been affected by the Datura. Kelly woke up and began talking about a vision of pillars at the end of the bed.
To me, the pillars are representative of Yesod - Foundation. After this, in the coming days and weeks, a lot began to happen, that now I’m not sure the chronology of. The first extremely Yesodic thing to happen was a dream. From my journal:
OK, so after that dream I make a lifesized doll like the one from my dream. I finish it that night, having had the dream that morning. Here she is:
After I make the doll, we begin having some pretty disturbing things happen. Kelly wakes up screaming. She’s seen a black figure in the corner of the room. It has red splotches over its body. It looks back over its shoulder and makes eye contact with Kelly.
One night Kelly wakes me up saying she saw a turbine orange in places with rust or paint above my head. She felt like it was going to decapitate me, the blades spinning.
The next thing to happen is a few days later. Kelly is woken up by something poking her in the arm hard. She goes back to sleep. A minute later she wakes up screaming. She says something bit her finger. I look at it. There is a red indention. It’s still red the next morning.
A few days later Kelly wakes me up out of a sound sleep screaming and screaming, absolutely terrified and crying. She’s not responsive to me. Finally she snaps out of it and just cries. She manages to tell me that she felt something standing over her. She wakes up. It’s the black figure, this time with scraggly hair, a green sweater and grey skirt. She said it was standing holding an arm out with the other held back. In the morning she finds her pillowcase in the floor. She thinks the black figure was pulling it off and that’s what woke her up - and this explained its posturing. Now it so happens that this was the morning I discover around 8 or more unmarked graves on our property - right up the hill from our house. We ask the landlord. He confirms, saying they are so old nobody remembers who they were, and he recommends leaving them be.
After this I begin taking magical action. That was the last time Kelly had one of her night terror episodes. But not the last time she saw the black figure.
Last week she saw it in our basement, long enough to make eye contact. I think it must have moved to the basement because of the magical barriers I’ve been putting up astrally, every night. I decided to do an I-Ching reading on what Inwas dealing with. Kelly had already told me she felt the black figure was my puppet - which, well, it looked like, and that it was jealous of her, over me.
I pulled hexagram 38. Opposition. Whatever is going on is tied to my initiation into Yesod. There has been a lot happen to us besides this. We are both doing yoga, meditation and are on a plant based diet. Foundational things. We are budgeting and planning investments. Again foundational - preparation for growth.
From a Hermetic and Jungian view I believe some sort of union with the shadow woman is required. Hexagram 38 has been described as two people, immovable, on a narrow street. It is disunion, estrangement.
I must delve further into hexagram 38 and also review much of what has happened- which writing this is part of. I also am feeling the pull to initiate into Saturn, but I feel this opposition must find equilibrium before I can move on.