The Starry Bull of Heaven


Last night, I was given this dream:

I was in church, walking out - I had something to attend to outside. A young man stopped me before I reached the door. He was a palm-reader, very young, very soft-spoken, with short and rather plainly cut brown hair . He gently took my left hand and began to look at the lines. I was in a hurry and looked towards the door, having my arm outstretched by his grasp. "That's OK, we can do this another time.", he said. "No, please, continue!", I responded. A group of people I was with stopped and we all listened to what he had to read in the palm of my hand.

He took a ball-point pin and began to trace lines on my left palm, across the bottom outside edge known as the percussion, which lays below the Mounts of Mars and the Moon. He traced a phrase in Latin, reading it as he did. I fucking can't remember what it said, but I remember seeing Latin letters. I remember what it meant.


With this Latin writing there was also a scar that he saw upon my thenar prominence - the fleshy part of the thumb, called the Mount of Venus in palmistry. It so happens I have this scar in waking life, though it came by way of box-cutter in my time as a Dairy Manager circa 1998. In it, he had clearly read that in a past life I had been a Roman soldier and killed in battle. This was the meaning of the martial dreams in the Geburah initation. The soldiers chasing me - they were my brothers with whom I once fought alongside. Death cannot remove the bond created between warriors who fought and died together. Venus is the love that binds our karma together. It is Venus who holds my hand through my journey, and I can not hold her within my mind without an overwhelming emotional rising, and a deeper appreciation than I have ever felt in my life. She has shown me purpose and destiny that far extend beyond this lifetime within which I currently find myself.

I cannot remember what the Latin phrase said. I took two years of Latin in school - not knowing why I was so drawn to the language and to the Greek and Roman myths unlike anything I had ever been drawn to before. I had written the myths out from Edith Hamilton’s book by hand in a notebook. During my entire public education this single book of myths was the only thing that warranted my academic attention in the least. I rejected everything else as an unbearable bore which I did my damnedest to sleep through until graduation, and bless their hearts, they graduated me, wishing me not to remain among them for any extended period.

The young man in my dream made it obvious that the inscription in Latin on my hand - it was a message from that Roman soldier that was me, to me today, and this reading of his words would unlock something. God what a struggle to remember! To Become! To put all the pieces together, and to rise upon the planes; to step into the knowledge of the past and to embody its wisdom and understanding.

I suspect that I have been an initiate before, and that in that time, being male and a Roman soldier, I would have gone through the 7 degrees of Mithraism, which I had strongly identified before ever having appeared to Kelly as with a daimonic bull-head filled with stars. Tauroctony and the Bull of Heaven have very deep mysteries for me, Taurus being ruled by Venus and this dream coming during a Full Moon in Taurus. Both Venus and Taurus have not only connotations of love, but also war. The Moon is exalted in Venus, Taurus being of the nature of the Moon and Venus. Venus in the Underworld. The Apis Bull. I cannot put my finger on a thing, but yet it seems to be expressed here:

The Apis Bull is the calf of a cow which is never able after to have another. The Egyptians believe that a flash of lightning strikes the cow from heaven, and thus causes her to conceive the Apis. It has distinctive marks. It is black, with a white diamond on its forehead, the image of an eagle on its back, two white hairs on its tail and a scarab-beetle mark under its tongue.
— Herodotus

I am going to meditate upon this until either I remember or see what that phrase was, or until further answers come. It has come to my understanding as well that this life I live now has been as if the gods picked me up and put me into time-out, until as such time as I could re-integrate some things. Saturn is imprisonment, and I have owned the deepest cell in the deepest dungeon, left entirely alone, to roam freely of mind.