It’s a slow dawning - this coming to the decency to be ashamed of realizing how big of an ass you actually are - but far worse is perceiving the reasons why: Varied insecurities rising like serpents out of specifically clarifying and uninvited intrusions of recollections of early social interactions that bred a particularly insidious superiority complex (generally called the ego) that being unable to live up to its own demands then backhandedly committed the treachery of admission, and so a mad dash to self medication, to suppress such self-damning blasphemous knowledge and to forget. Oh yes, the dead eagerly seek the waters of the river Lethe.
We are more rememberers exorcising the memories that haunt us, placing them squarely before us. Acknowledging their darkness. Making peace and forgiving. Because we remember, we know the future, and knowing the future, we find our heart of compassion, and finding our heart we are healed of the poison, and being healed of the poison, we seek to heal others. How you do that is not in a grand single act of sanctimoniousness. It is in imperceivable ways, every day, largely known only by you.