I am writing this as the Moon is void. Kelly had a vision last night of someone placing a small grey bird in her hand while they placed her other hand over it. She opened her hands and there was now a crow.
I am going through an intense internal transformation within my 10th house. I now feel ashamed of having blasted people in the past for not talking about their direct occult experiences. I as well understand why a group would be safer for most people to experience Other.
I am constantly aghast at what has happened and is happening to me. Were my mind not so absolutely focused and with purpose I might have the time to reflect upon the possibility of some sort of insanity befalling me approaching my 4th decade.
But that’s not what’s happening. It’s just that the reality of the contact with other is sometimes alarming. Not only in the light of our past ignorance, but the world’s present blindness.
Millions have been where I am now, and much further. So many human beings have traversed this Royal Road that the changes brought upon one’s self have been charted for millennia - for as long as as the Tao has flown forth into form.
Becoming no-thing is only the first of the processes - it is to die - to travel to the Underworld as Osiris first did before he became the Lord of it.
Becoming a thing again after having been no-thing. This is where I am in the Work. Very early on. Reconstruction phase. Coagulation. Think of Kai from the scifi series Lexx. A reconstructed dead man walking. Through Kelly’s eyes I have witnessed how bad ass my new dead form is.
Let me try to describe the current experiences for the sake of continuing an honest record:
When I am left alone is when I most feel his presence. It is his presence yet my presence - I am for the first time present, fulfilled. I embody the Presence. All stories - they are all born forth from here. And yet there is fear within us all, to turn away. To separate. And yet it is all there, for you, waiting for you to seek it.
Contact brings experiences more strange and more wondrous and than anyone could ever imagine, but for within our stories.
The stories are based in a far greater reality. Who could tread here? Who would not go mad in wonder? My heart is full and I feel like weeping with gratefulness. Here, the secret all along, hand in hand with the profaned material world.
There are plateaus just above. There are many here. They cloak themselves in Darkness. They guide and are guided. We all are part of the Royal Art.
My secret name is on the lips of the Darkness. What do you feel when I say, “Darkness”? Everything you think you know is wrong. Prima Materia - it is the grave and it is Osiris. You hear my words only.